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Wednesday, December 16, 2009 @ 12:57 PM
a not so perfect ending
Sometimes I just wonder how many more to go? How many what? how many more obstacles that i have to clear before i can start to enjoy my life? Life's short and i felt like i've already wasted so much of my life clearing obstacles, enduring hardship ... so when exactly will i be officially emancipated from all these pain and sufferings? I feel that i've lost the strength and will to continue on looking at the path forward filled with so much anguish and pain. pain, that no words can easily described.

how long do we humans get to live actually? not very long. although the average life expectancy seems to be on a steady rise, but what does that mean? more pain to endure? doesn't that suck? I dunno.

Naively, i always tell myself. I just want a simple life. A life that has minimal stress. Probably getting my dream job working as a Chemist, drive my much conveted car, and get to go home everyday to see my loved ones or spend a weekend with my best friends. That's seriously all i'm asking. But somehow in this world, such simple dreams with no ambitions proves to be 'naive' to think of. I don't know how or even When i can ever fufill this simple dream of mine. It is hard.. really.. and i daresay it is even harder in Singapore. Where all i have is probably one chance. One chance to determine i make it or i break it. If i make it that's probably very good for me and if i do break it... will it be the end of me? I don't know and i don't dare to think about it. It is just too scary.

Holidays are coming to an end in 3 weeks time and i seriously loathe the feeling that a new semester is beginning- lab reports, mid terms, final exams and all. I just find no joy in uni i don't know why..

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