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Saturday, May 03, 2008 @ 1:24 AM
Hopes that dashed into million pieces
i have nothing but disdain for the person living closest to me and yet i cannot bring myself to show my true feelings. Every single day i have to wear a very beautiful mask painted with such a hypocritical smile and try my best to conceal whatever displeasure i have and reduce all of it to mere friendliness. The truth is sad, but there it is.

Sometimes i ask myself this question. Is the outside world all about putting on masks when entertaining different people? Because if it is then wont it be very saddening? The thought of it makes me sick. It is as if the world is left with nothing but deceptions and lies.

atec1 is officially over and all the crazy training done under the blistering hot sun will hopefully meld into the "unpleasant memories" of atec1 and never come back again... i think we did good, but there are always apprently some who think otherwise. Nevertheless im glad all these madness and insanity is over.

Just when i thought i am on my road to recovery, god has yet again set another obstacle right in front of me. I am near my breaking point yet i cannot do anything. If its a test of my endurance and peserverance i think it is enough. I dont know how much longer i can take. 9 more months of sufferings. It may seem short, but everyday striked out in my calender is deeply scarred in my heart. It is so painful and antagonising that no one could possibly imagine. Please someone let me break free of this endless suffering. T.T

yw-signing off
NS Status: 59% Completed


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